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News: Marva Dasef's TALES OF A TEXAS BOY is available on the front page of this forum's website, http://z7.zentao7.com/
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April 23, 2007, 07:10:25 AM

I AM DR MONOCULOUS
Critiquing Member
I'm new here. Be kind.
*****

Critique Rating: 0
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Posts: 18
The Story of DR MONOCULOUS


In 1999 we decided to it would be fun to try to create an internet urban legend or an internet character that would become well known. Our attempts at an urban legend (Gold was discovered by the rovers on mars) didn’t get anywhere, but our character did. DR MONOCULOUS evolved into a capitalized entity who wrote only about a dozen phrases in response to every inquiry. At this time DR M worked the IM as blogging had not been popularized yet. The collected chats below consist of DR M’s greatest hits with a few fake DR M’s thrown in. At the height of his weirdness, there were at least seven fake Dr M’s haunting the chatrooms, trying in van to capture the real DR M’s brutal sense of ambiguity. Now there just seems to be only one fake Dr M practicing his trade, a particularly bad one at that. As for the real DR. M, Kyle is right. I should never have tried to resurrect him from the dead. He was a reprobate and deserved his fate, and thankfully his mutant race of miniature donkeys created in plastic butter tubs has been eradicated. (They were particularly ill tempered.)


 SELECTED DR  MONOCULOUS  CHATS

CurIyQGal99: HI!
DrMonoculous: I AM DR MONOCULOUS
CurIyQGal99: I am aware!
DrMonoculous: I AM GREAT I GROW
MINIATURE DONKEYS IN PLASTIC
BUTTER TUBS I HAVE CONFIDENCE I
AM NOT AFRAID
CurIyQGal99: YOU ARE VERY
TALENTED!
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
APPROVES OF BURRITOS
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS IS
NOT AFFILIATED WITH ANY POLITICAL
BELIEF
CurIyQGal99: I APPROVE OF VOMIT!
DrMonoculous: I AM CONFIDENT. WHY
ARE YOU AFRAID
DrMonoculous: I AM DR MONOCULOUS
CurIyQGal99: I FEAR EVERYTHING
AND EVERYONE
DrMonoculous: FEAR IS THE PATH TO
THE DARK SIDE. I AM LOVE. I AM DR
MONOCULOUS
CurIyQGal99: I AM BOB
CurIyQGal99: YOU ARE CARLOS
DrMonoculous: I GROW MINIATURE
DONKEYS IN PLASTIC BUTTER TUBS
ON MY WINDOW SILL
CurIyQGal99: YOU ARE VERY
TALENTED, DR!
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
DISAPPROVES OF BOB SAGET
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
DISAPPROVES OF OPRAH
DrMonoculous: I AM HERE
CurIyQGal99: BOB SAGET AND OPERA
SHOULD DIE
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
APPROVES OF YOUR WISDOM. I AM
NOT AFRAID
CurIyQGal99: I AM VERY AFRAID OF
COTTON
CurIyQGal99: AND OTHER SQUISHY
THINGS
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
APPROVES OF COTTON.
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS LIKES
CANDY
CurIyQGal99: I APPROVE OF SILK
DrMonoculous: I HAVE MINIATURE
DONKEYS
CurIyQGal99: I APPROVE OF CANDY
CurIyQGal99: I HAVE A TOOTHBRUSH
DrMonoculous: I AM GREAT. I AM HOLY.
I CREATE MINIATURE DONKEYS. I AM
DR MONOCULOUS. DO NOT BE AFRAID.
CurIyQGal99: I FEAR YOU NOT
CurIyQGal99: I ENJOY CHEWING ON
MY TOOTHBRUSH
DrMonoculous: DR DR DR DR DR DR DR
MONOCULOUS
CurIyQGal99: DR MONOCULOUS IS
POWERFUL. DR MONOCULOUS
RULES THE WORLD
DrMonoculous: I AM DR MONOCULOUS
CurIyQGal99: I AM AWARE
CurIyQGal99: I AM DR. BOB
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
APPROVES OF BURRITOS
CurIyQGal99: DR. BOB APPROVES OF
TOILET WATER
CurIyQGal99: YUM YUM
DrMonoculous: YOU ARE THE WEAK. I
AM STRONG. I AM CONFIDENT. WHY
DO YOU SHOW ME YOUR FEAR?
CurIyQGal99: I AM SORRY.
CurIyQGal99: I AM NOT AFRAID
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS HAS
FOUND THE SECRET OF LIFE IN
PLASTIC BUTTER TUBS. DO NOT BE
AFRAID. I AM LOVE
DrMonoculous: I AM DR MONOCULOUS
CurIyQGal99: I ENJOY EATING
BUTTER






ShutupGil: how does one aquire one of these
donkeys?
DrMonoculous: I AM GREAT
ShutupGil: the donkeys?
ShutupGil: how do i get one?
DrMonoculous: MINIATURE DONKEYS
ARE AVAILABLE BY WRITING TO DR
MONOCULOUS 1234 5TH ST
SPRINGFIELD SEND ME MONEY AND I
WILL RESPOND WITH MINIATURE
DONKEYS GROWN IN PLASTIC BUTTER
TUBS. I AM HERE. I AM HOLY
DrMonoculous: DO NOT BE AFRAID
ShutupGil: the night time is the right time
DrMonoculous: I AM DR MONOCULOUS
ShutupGil: yes docotr
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
APPROVES OF BURRITOS
ShutupGil: what about gorditas
ShutupGil: with nacho cheese sauce?
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS HAS
NO POSITION ON GORDITAS
ShutupGil: oh, any feelings on popcorn
ShutupGil: i personally don't approve
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCUOUS
GROWS WEARY OF YOU
ShutupGil: please doctor
ShutupGil: don't leave me
DrMonoculous: I AM HERE WHY ARE
YOU AFRAID
ShutupGil: you said you would leave
ShutupGil: i need the doctor
ShutupGil: .....no more
ShutupGil: ha
ShutupGil: screw you doc
DrMonoculous: DO NOT BE AFRAID YOU
ARE THE WEAK I AM HERE
ShutupGil: i got my own donkeys
ShutupGil: screw your mini donkeys
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
DISAPPROVES OF BOB SAGET
ShutupGil: mine speak french
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS IS
GREAT
ShutupGil: at being gay
DrMonoculous: I AM NOT AFARID WHY
DO YOU SHOW ME YOUR FEAR
ShutupGil: tell "Gracie1431" that you are russel
mckitric
ShutupGil: and try to scare her
ShutupGil: say you want her back
DrMonoculous: I AM DR MONOCULOUS
ShutupGil: it will be great
DrMonoculous: DR DR DR DR DR DR DR
MONOCULOUS
ShutupGil: dr zayuss?
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
DISAPPROVES OF OPRAH
ShutupGil: talk to gracie
DrMonoculous: I GROW MINIATURE
DONKEYS IN PLASTIC BUTTER TUBS
DrMonoculous: I AM CONFIDENT I AM
HERE
ShutupGil: no
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS IS
NOT ALONE
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS IS
LOVE
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Previous message was not received by
ShutupGil because of error: User ShutupGil
is not available.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
letto777: you are very interesting
letto777: it is a coincedence 'cause i make
donkey's too!
DrMonoculous: I AM DR MONOCULOUS
letto777: ok im emily
letto777: dr. emily to you
DrMonoculous: I AM HERE DO NOT BE
AFRAID I AM DR MONOCULOUS
letto777: with a capital d
letto777: ok well
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
APPROVES OF BURRITOS
letto777: do not be alarmed i am your father
letto777: "luke"
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
DISAPPROVES OF BOB SAGET
letto777: hey i like burritos too
letto777: me too
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
DISAPPROVES OF OPRAH
letto777: bob saget is a faget
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
APPROVES OF BURRITOS
letto777: me too
letto777: you are awesome
DrMonoculous: I AM HERE. I AM DR
MONOCULOUS
letto777: get it on!!
DrMonoculous: I AM CONFIDENT, WHY
ARE YOU AFRAID?
letto777: a'/sl
DrMonoculous: I AM HERE I AM LOVE
letto777: me not afraid me just hissing at you
DrMonoculous: DR MONOCULOUS
DISAPPROVES OF UNREGULATED
FLAME
letto777: what?
DrMonoculous: I GROW MINIATURE
DONKEYS IN PLASTIC BUTTER TUBS
letto777: do you toke up?
letto777: me too
DrMonoculous: I AM GREAT AND HOLY.
THE SECRET OF LIFE IS IN PLASTIC
BUTTER TUBS. I AM DR MONOCULOUS.
I AM GREAT
DrMonoculous: DO NOT BE AFRAID
letto777: me no afraid of u
letto777: me love you
Logged
I AM DR MONOCULOUS
 

Read
April 23, 2007, 08:06:47 AM

author, editor, curmudgeon
Zen's Den
Definitely a Forum Fanatic

*****

Critique Rating: 43
Offline Offline

Posts: 2340

So you wanna be an author, huh? Learn the craft.
Oh, gawd.  Mike, you are AWFUL.  Leading this poor souls into further dysfunction and delusion. Grin  Did you write a play on this?
Logged
First the draft, then the rewrite; then the interminable edits.  (You want some cheese with that whine, do you?)

Remember, an editor is neither your nor your story's clean-up committee.  We don't come on rolls; we aren't white, soft, and easily flushed.
 

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